Hypnotist

It was entertainment night at the
Senior Center. Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: 'I'm here to put
you all into a trance - I intend to hypnotize each and every
member of the audience.'

The excitement was almost
electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch
from his coat. The polished metal
gleamed in the light.

Claude the hypnotist said: 'I want you each to keep your
eyes on this antique watch. It's a very special
watch. It's been in my family for six
generations.'

He began to swing the watch
gently back and forth while quietly chanting,
'Watch the watch, watch the
watch, watch the watch ... The crowd became
mesmerized as the watch swayed back and
forth, light shimmering off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying
watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the

hypnotist's fingers and fell to the
floor, shattering into a hundred pieces...

'CRAP!' said the Hypnotist.

It took 3 days to clean up the

Senior Center.

R.I.P.

Three friends from the local congregation were asked, 'When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?'

Artie said: ' I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.'

Eugene commented: 'I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives..'

Al said: 'I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'